12/15/01

Kathleen Hirsch=s latest work, A Sabbath Life: One Woman=s Search for Wholeness, is a book of quiet intensity. At forty, Hirsch acknowledges a lack of grounding in her otherwise successful life. With this knowledge she seeks something more, something to reconnect her with what she lost during her years of becoming successful. This Asearch for wholeness,@ her personal journey toward an authentic self, is what she describes in this poetic, journalistic, memoir.

Hirsch is a vivid and poetic writer who evokes the beauty and wonder of nature through such phrases as Athe thrilling choreography of birds in motion@ (25). She describes herself as Aa worker bee who, drunk on honey and sunlight, cannot possibly begin to understand its own dance@ (46). Understanding the dance is what this book is about B not the difficult steps she has been dancing for forty years, but the true dance steps she is meant to dance. Carrying her readers along with her on her journey, she travels through her own barrenness B both literal and spiritual. At the start of her journey, when she is just beginning to question what she needs for her own fulfillment, the beginning of an answer comes to her with fierce clarity. She reacts as if she had Ajust been punched in the stomach@ (34):

How can a woman hope to live authentically unless she is whole? Until she reclaims all her projections, her Asister self@ on whom she has leaned all these years, and brings her home again?

To bring beauty home again and to marry it to our purposes, seriously and authentically, whether they be producing widgets or caring for others will require courage B vast doses of it B in a culture whose bottom line is fast and brash efficiency. It will require a rearrangement of our priorities, our concerns, our time, our lives. (34-35)

Hirsch seeks both wisdom and beauty, choosing silence as a rejuvenating force. It is with silence that she begins to hear the echoes of her true self. Although she is drawn to monasteries, she does not sequester herself in isolation; she remains in the world. One of the most powerful aspects of the book is Hirsch=s acknowledgment of other women and the sense of community she seeks and finds with them. The outcome of her search is birth: of a son and of her self.

Although this is a personal accounting of one woman=s journey, Hirsch provides suggestions for those who are also feeling the need for a more sacred and fulfilling life. She suggests that the first step is the journey itself. She encourages us, like the pilgrims of old, to begin a pilgrimage. It does not have to be a literal going forth in search of sacred space; rather, Hirsch encourages the inner journey. She also suggests finding companions along the way. These companions may be others who are also on a journey of their own, or they may be books by other pilgrims who have gone before. In this regard, keeping a journal of one=s own pilgrimage is also encouraged. Finally, she suggests that we find some work to do with our hands if it is only for an hour a day. She finds this intentional physical work a way to enter the silence, ease the mind, and propel one forward on the journey.

Although there is much to be said for this book, there are some troubling aspects as well. A self-proclaimed feminist, Hirsch often seems to eschew feminism, blaming it somehow for the lack of a center in her own life. When she speaks of feminist colleagues, her tone is bothersome. She has dinner with AM.,@ Aan old colleague who=s become a national celebrity for her spirited defense of feminism and of women=s contentment with the working world@ (158). When I read this description, I began to feel a little uneasy, but I decided I was reacting without reason. However, with the following statement: AWhile the rest of us go on with the real business of living, the gladiators like M. slug it out@ (158), I began to feel there were some underlying tensions Hirsch was not adequately acknowledging. I also found irritating her assumption to speak for all women: AWhat women today need and are seeking isn=t a new set of work-place guidelines. It is spiritual support. Community@ (159). I find it troubling that while seeking and finding a new way of living her own life, Hirsch comes dangerously close to trivializing women who continue to work for adequate working conditions and equitable legislation.

The most disturbing part of Hirsch=s book, however, is her limited acknowledgment of women=s lives who are not among the privileged, or even the middle-class. All women do not have the luxury of silence for their own or anyone else=s rejuvenation. All women do not have the luxury of taking time away from work to cultivate a garden in order to reconnect with the elemental. All women do not have the luxury of refurbishing a garage into a Aroom of one=s own@ when their newborn needs their existing office space for a nursery. Most of all, not all women can read or write. To her credit, Hirsch attempts to acknowledge these differences, stating that AMiddle-class women aren=t exposed to the same pressures as poor women@ (116), but no where does she admit that this journey she has undertaken is one of privilege. When describing other women who are making something new and exciting of their lives, she is struck by the lack of discussion of finances. It is not that finances are unimportant, since many of the women are single-earners of their families, but that Athey=d made a conscious choice not to let fear and financial anxiety interfere. . . . Quality of life had become more important than the latest Ferragamo shoes@ (125). Ferragamo shoes, indeed!

Even so, there is much to be learned from reading this book. It is also, if nothing else, an elegy to her dear friend Linda B a true Asoul-sister@ who dies of breast cancer during the course of the book. She brings Linda to life in this book, and she celebrates her contributions. A Sabbath Life is a worthy evocation of the sacred dimension that can be found if one has the courage and luxury to engage in the quest as Hirsch describes it.